Would I make a great prime minister?

Absolutely, no question I would be the prime minister of radical change.

To start with I would bring all of our troops back home and declare the UK to be a neutral country. This would instantly save millions probably billions of pounds wasted on trying to reorganise Afghanistan and while I can understand that in Libya and the wider middle east there are huge problems I no longer feel it is up to us to go wading in guns blazing, fighting wars we cannot win. There is a proverb about choosing your battles carefully, now is the time to put this into action. Our army navy and airforce, all outstanding people, would be deployed solely to ensure the security of our islands and the safety of its people.

The railways would go back under one state run umbrella together with all other essential services, gas, electricity and water and the long problematic postal service. it seems counter productive to have anything other than a state run infrastructure for essential services on which we all depend. Competition has failed to deliver cheaper gas or electricity, the phone network is such a mess that in London you can have a high speed internet connection yet in other parts of the country it is pathetically slow or non existent. According to BT’s website the majority of Norfolk does not feature in the roll out timetable for Infinity, their fibre optic service and I’m sure there are hundreds of areas similarly missing from the big picture. In the same vein I can buy my electricity from Scottish Power, it will be the same current that flows through my wiring as yours, even if you buy from Cornish electric (if they exist). Madness all of it.

While I’m on a roll, let’s get rid of the second class mail, it doesn’t work, and spend the money getting letters there the next day, intact and unopened. I do not want some overseas company running my postal service but unless something is done soon to drag the industry into the 21st century that is what will happen.

So as PM I will please many of the trade unionists by effectively renationalising all their favourite industries. What they wont like quite so much is that to take any form of industrial action will require a turnout of 95% of the membership and a majority of 90% in favour and all ballots will be carried out by an independent body. No longer will we be held to ransom by the minority. The underground will be modernised with the introduction of driverless trains, this is an increasingly popular way of ensuring that the network runs to time and without interruption. It works at airports and in Paris very successfully.  I will get to education and hospitals in time but for now this is my manifesto, vote for me and let’s stop wasting money on armaments and start spending it on making sure our country functions as we would all like it to. I could probably carry half the electorate if I promised to sort out the trains.

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